Share the things that are ours

We share; reciprocity is what makes a home.

What to learn

Take turns with shared things and understand that some things belong to all of us, not just to me.

The problem it solves

Everything is “mine”; the Van-vs-Stevie tug-of-war.

How to teach it

Teach a child

Name a few things that are explicitly ours to share, small stuff included, so it isn’t always his-vs-hers. Model turn-taking: “Van’s turn is coming.” Belonging is a real need, not a transaction.

Teach yourself

Hold shared things lightly: reciprocity — I give way, you give way — is what turns a set of individuals into a home.

Tactics that teach it

The Shared Shelf kid tool

A few things that are explicitly ours to share — small stuff too.

Buy and set aside a few things that are explicitly “ours,” not his or hers — small stuff included — so it isn’t always “mine.” Turn-taking on shared things defuses the Van-vs-Stevie rivalry: they don’t each need one of everything.

Done when

She takes turns on shared things without every item becoming a fight.

Track your progress on this lesson

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