# What's Best For Us

*A working concept doc — the "human operating manual."*

---

## The Core Idea

A single reference — part infographic, part skill tree — that answers a
question almost nothing on the market answers cleanly:

> **What should a competent person know, do, and maintain — across an entire
> lifetime, and at every time scale?**

Maslow's hierarchy tells you what people *need*. This is about what people
should *know how to do and keep up with*: laundry, balancing a checkbook,
changing a tire, plus the bodies of knowledge worth understanding (history,
civics, statistics, nutrition).

**The tagline forming in my head:** *a reference guide you can use at any age,
for any age.*

- I'm 40 — what should I know how to do? I can surely be better.
- My sister is 32 — what does she need to know?
- Her kids are 2 and 5 — what do they need to learn, and when?

The honest premise underneath it: **adults need help with this stuff too.**
Nobody hands you the manual. This is an attempt to draw it.

---

## Why It's Underserved

The closest existing frameworks each only cover one slice:

| Framework | Covers | Misses |
|---|---|---|
| Maslow's hierarchy | psychological needs | doing / maintaining |
| Eisenhower Matrix | prioritizing tasks | the *what* and *when* |
| Wheel of Life | balancing life domains | concrete skills |
| "Adulting" checklists | practical skills | structure, frequency |
| Financial literacy roadmaps | money only | everything else |
| Homeschool curricula | education only | maintenance, life skills |

None combine **frequency + life skills + knowledge + maintenance** into one
visual. That gap is the opportunity.

The thing mixes three different *kinds* of responsibility that are rarely shown
together:

1. **Maintenance** — things that must be repeated (laundry, changing oil).
2. **Competencies** — things every adult should know how to do (change a tire,
   sew a button, jump a car, cook a basic meal, read a contract).
3. **Knowledge** — subjects worth understanding (history, economics, civics,
   statistics, logic, psychology, nutrition).

---

## View 1 — The Bird's-Eye View (by Time Scale)

Color-code every node by how often it recurs:

🟢 Daily  🔵 Weekly  🟡 Monthly  🟠 Yearly  🟣 Every decade (revisit)  🔴 Once in life (learn it)

| Time Scale | Examples |
|---|---|
| **Daily** | Shower, brush teeth, exercise, cook/eat well, dishes, tidy, read 20–30 min, review calendar, family time |
| **Weekly** | Laundry, groceries, vacuum/mop, meal prep, budget review, call parents/friends, learn one skill |
| **Monthly** | Pay bills, inspect vehicle, HVAC filter, deep clean kitchen/bath, reconcile accounts, review subscriptions |
| **Quarterly** | Rotate tires, review investments, back up files, evaluate goals, donate unused items |
| **Yearly** | Taxes, physical, dental cleaning, insurance review, passport check, smoke-detector batteries, master a topic |
| **Every 5 Years** | Replace major appliances, update estate docs, career reassessment, CPR recert |
| **Lifetime Learning** | History, economics, civics, psychology, statistics, nutrition, first aid, personal finance, home maintenance, basic law, communication, logic, computer literacy |

---

## View 2 — The Domains View (Human Maintenance)

Same content, sliced by life area instead of by clock. This is the "subway map
/ skill tree" framing — branches: Health, Home, Finance, Transportation,
Technology, Relationships, Civics, Practical Skills.

```
Health          ── Daily: sleep, nutrition, exercise · Weekly: meal planning · Yearly: physical, dentist
Home            ── Daily: dishes · Weekly: laundry · Monthly: deep clean · Yearly: inspect roof/HVAC
Transportation  ── Weekly: tire pressure · Monthly: fluids · 5 yrs: new battery
Finance         ── Weekly: budget · Monthly: reconcile · Yearly: taxes · Decade: retirement strategy
Knowledge       ── Daily: read · Weekly: study · Yearly: master one subject · Lifetime: history, science, philosophy
Relationships   ── Daily: spouse/family · Weekly: friends · Yearly: trips, traditions
```

---

## View 3 — The First 20 Years (Building Capability)

For kids, the frame flips: not "maintenance" but **building capability**, and
timed to **developmental windows** when each skill is easiest to learn.

| Age | Primary Goal | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| **0–2** | Safety, attachment, language | Walking, talking, emotional security, routines, exploring |
| **3–5** | Independence | Dress self, toilet independence, sharing, counting, letters, colors, chores |
| **6–8** | Responsibility | Read fluently, basic math, ride a bike, swim, simple cooking, make bed, tell time, empathy |
| **9–12** | Competence | Budget allowance, laundry, basic first aid, typing, research, history, science, teamwork |
| **13–15** | Judgment | Critical thinking, debate, cook meals, public speaking, civics, online safety, emotional regulation |
| **16–18** | Independence | Driving, taxes, banking, résumé, interview, change a tire, voting, basic legal knowledge |
| **19–20** | Self-sufficiency | Renting, insurance, investing, meal planning, career decisions, long-term relationships |

**The design question that anchors it all:**
> *If my child left home at 18, what would I hope they could confidently do?*
> Then work backward.

By 18, ideally able to: manage a budget · cook a week of meals · keep a clean
space · do basic car/home maintenance · evaluate information critically ·
communicate and resolve conflict · understand core civics/history/science/health ·
**ask for help when they don't know something.**

---

## Domain Breakdown for the Little Ones (ages 2 & 5)

**Physical** — running/jumping/climbing, throw & catch, balance bike, swimming,
fine motor (scissors, drawing, writing).

**Home Skills**
- *5yo can start:* make bed, put toys away, set table, match socks, fold towels,
  make sandwiches, pour drinks, water plants.
- *2yo can start:* clothes in hamper, throw trash away, toys into bins, wipe
  spills, carry small items to the table.

**Thinking** — count to 100, letters & sounds, begin reading, calendars, tell
time (later), measure ingredients, solve simple problems, ask "why?"

**Character** *(the one that gets overlooked — teach habits, not "be nice")*
- Tell the truth even when it's uncomfortable.
- Finish what you start.
- Admit mistakes. Say "I don't know."
- Respect other people's belongings.
- Keep promises. Help without being asked.

**Practical Life** — tie shoes, scissors, sweep, vacuum, wash dishes, laundry,
cook breakfast, pack a lunch, sew a button, basic tools.

**Financial** — coins & bills, saving vs. spending, delayed gratification,
earning through chores, giving.

**Knowledge (broad exposure, not facts)** — world geography, nature & animals,
basic biology, ancient civilizations, music, art, astronomy, how machines work.

---

## Field Notes — Stevie & Van (this trip)

*Raw, honest observations from being with them. The gap between where the kids
are and where we want them to be — and the reality that we're starting late.*

**The core problem:** they don't take "no." They get their way, eat what *they*
want, do what *they* want. We need to reign them in — and it's too late to start
clean, so we have to navigate from *where we are* to *where we want to be*.

**On getting through to Stevie:**
- When corrected, she goes silent. In those moments: *"It's important that I
  know you understand me — repeat back to me what you heard."* Then lean in if it
  happens again.
- Repeat yourself more than twice → **immediate consequence**, can be timed
  (e.g. no TV for 10 minutes).

**On the Van rivalry:**
- She wants anything Van has. New toy, new activity — it all becomes about Stevie
  and how Van "has to share." Need to stop that pattern. The answer is *no.*
- **Idea:** buy specific things meant *to be shared* — small stuff too, not just
  big stuff. They don't each need one of everything.

**The teaching language that feels right** — clear, declarative, makes them
acknowledge they heard it:
- *"I am teaching you a lesson."*
- *"Remember the lesson about sharing? Tell me what you know about sharing."*
- Make them repeat it back. Acknowledgment is the point.

**Hard truths I'm reminding myself of:**
- **Let them cry.** Crying isn't an emergency.
- We're working on *not getting something every time we go to the store.*
- The honest joke: *here I am, the guy with no kids, figuring out how to raise
  one.* But maybe the outside view is worth something.

**The question that keeps the whole thing grounded:**
> We all want the best. What *is* the best? Today? Tomorrow? Next week, next
> year — when she's 10, when she's 20?

---

## Open Questions / Where This Could Go

- **Format:** single-page poster? Interactive web skill-tree? Printable
  per-age checklist you revisit each birthday?
- **Audience:** is this a parenting tool, a young-adult tool, or genuinely an
  *any-age* reference? (Leaning: all three, same spine.)
- **Naming:** "Competent Adult Roadmap" · "Human Operating Manual" ·
  "What's Best For Us."
- **The two axes** to reconcile: **time-scale** (daily→lifetime) and
  **life-stage** (age 0→death). The product is probably the grid where they meet.
- Is the kid version and the adult version *the same artifact at different
  zoom levels*, or two products?

---

*Not sure yet what I want this to be. I love all of it. That's the starting
point.*